Mid-Life Dating

Dating is challenging at any age, but when you hit midlife, it can become even more daunting.

If you are involved in midlife dating, chances are you have re-entered the dating scene after a divorce or the death of a spouse. In some cases, you may have never married at all and are still searching for someone special to share your life with. Whatever the circumstances surrounding the details of your single status, you are older and in a different dating pool. You face many of the same obstacles as young singles, but there are added challenges as well as bonuses to midlife dating.

Midlife dating can be a fulfilling experience as long as you protect yourself and you define what you want out of the relationship before you start dating. A drawback of midlife dating is the difficulty you may face in integrating your life with your new partner's life. When you are both set in your own ways and have certain non-negotiable attributes, it can be cumbersome to align these with each other to create harmony in the relationship.

It is important to note that many older singles have children. Their children may be adults who have children of their own, or they may be adolescents who are still being raised. It is important to distinguish between types of midlife daters and decide whether you are willing to date someone who is still raising a child or if you would be more comfortable dating someone does not have children or whose children are out of the house.

Before stepping into the midlife dating scene, it is crucial to do a self-assessment. It is important to decide what you want out of a partner at this stage in your life. Think about what you are willing to change in your own life when adjusting to being in a new relationship. Figure out your bottom line so you know what you are willing to put up with and what your deal-breakers are.

DOS AND DON'T'S OF MIDLIFE DATING

DO –

• Negotiate compromise and communicate.
• Be proactive about meeting people.
• Ask detailed questions on the first date. This can save you both time and energy.
• Pursue interests you enjoy and participate in group activities. You are more likely to meet someone when you are living life and having fun.
• Smile. If you are friendly, you are more approachable.
• Be honest and seek honesty in others.
• Attend group events and reunions. They are good places to meet older singles in a relaxed environment.

DON'T -

• Repeat past mistakes.
• Let your guard down.
• Expect to find your soul mate in one date.
• Dwell in the past by talking excessively about your deceased spouse or ex-lover with your new flame.
• Have unrealistic expectations. Focus on finding someone whose values match your own, rather than focusing solely on looks.

Midlife Dating Dangers – Things to protect

• Your heart – Some midlife daters are lonely and vulnerable. Protect yourself and do not get taken advantage of.
• Your health – Be sure to engage in protected sex and do not feel rushed into anything you are not ready for.
• Your assets – Beware of scam artists who prey on the vulnerability of recent widows. Keep assets in your name and make sure you are in control of your money.

Time is of the essence in midlife dating. It is important to be proactive in finding someone whose interests match your own. Be aware of your needs and expectations before you enter the dating realm. Midlife dating can be rewarding since both parties are older, wiser and more experienced. When midlife dating, people tend to know what they want from a partner, what did not work in the past and can be more selective in who they keep as company. Follow your heart and have the courage to get out and meet people. Whether it results in a friendship or a lasting relationship, congratulate yourself. You survived another dating experience.