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Dating Obstacle: Overcoming Shyness

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Published: August 22, 2006

The dating world can be intimidating for the average person. It involves meeting new people and essentially getting to know a stranger on a personal level. Adding shyness to the mix creates an even larger dilemma.

If you are shy and find it difficult to enter the dating realm, here are a few tips to help keep you afloat:

TIPS FOR SHY DATERS

Organize and attend group outings – Meeting potential dates through friends and acquaintances is a great method for shy daters. You will be able to get to know someone in a group setting without the pressure of one-on-one forced conversation.
Participate in group activities – Join a sports team or take a pottery class. This allows you to do something you love, while meeting people with similar interests.
Have a sense of humor – Humor is a great ice breaker, but be careful not to offend anyone by telling politically incorrect or crass jokes.
Learn about various topics to prepare for different conversations – If you are a sports fan and meet someone who shares your passion, begin a discussion about your favorite players and teams. If you are well-versed in a topic, it will be easier to be more confident in speaking to others.

Dating Suggestions for Shy Daters

Go to a place where you can engage in an activity so you will feel comfortable making conversation in a relaxed atmosphere. Dinner dates force people to talk face-to-face, which may be intimidating for a shy dater, especially on a first date. Go bowling, play miniature golf or go to an arcade. You will be surprised at how natural conversation flows during interactive dates.

Being shy often means feeling distrustful or wary of people and situations. It also can mean you lack confidence to start or continue engaging in conversation. Some people do not feel comfortable with outgoing mannerisms, such as maintaining a relaxed posture, making eye contact and smiling.

Remember to relax and not take things too seriously. Take small steps in overcoming shyness. Engage in small talk with the cashier at the grocery store or the bus driver you see every day. It will help you gain confidence in the dating world and will bring you one step closer to overcoming shyness.
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