How I Stayed Friends With My Ex

Gina is a 25-year-old, single real estate agent. She resides in Bloomingdale, Ill., and works in Chicago. The following is her experience attempting to remain friends with her ex-boyfriend:

I don't know if it's possible (to be friends with your ex), yet many people try. I think there are good intentions behind being friends with your ex. Obviously you have built a relationship and both of you have grown to know each. It's always nice to have that person around. It's convenient; it's easy.

But I don't always think it's the best option. It goes along with being friends with a member of the opposite sex. It always seems as though one of the two people are going to have feelings for the other person, whether they are expressed directly or not. It seems as though there is always one person in the relationship who feels an attraction toward the other, whether it is a physical or personality link. Being friends with an ex is a good idea, but I don't think it works.

As far as my personal experience, I was dating somebody and we broke up. Eventually, we began talking again. Whether it's going to grab lunch, you're still broken up with them. My ex assumed we had started going out again. Nothing was ever said. Nothing was ever official. But he just assumed we were together because we would go out and do things together. So that put me in a weird situation. I felt uncomfortable saying I was going out with other guys because he was under the assumption that we were going out again.

That went on for a long time and then it got to the point where I had to break up with him again, even though I was never really going out with him again. So we did the official break up thing again. It was talked about; it was known. And then the same situation happened. I said I wasn't going to talk to him and the only way to get him out of my life is not to talk to him anymore. That didn't work. He'd call. I'd respond and it was the same vicious cycle. So now I'm pretty much in the same situation where we broke up, but he thinks we are back together. Or, it's not that he thinks we are back together; he keeps asking me now to be his girlfriend and to make it official. He thinks we are going to end up together.

So staying friends with an ex, in my experience, hasn't worked at all. Other than him, I've been friends with ex's, but it always becomes something else. We become friends with benefits, because we've already been there and done that.

I think that remaining friends with an ex could be possible, as long as both people are on the same page and it's discussed anytime it is getting to the point where the person is having feelings for you, or you are having feelings for them

Gina's experience reflects the sentiment that being friends with an ex can be complicated, particularly if both parties do not have clear understanding and communication regarding feelings and intentions.